Japanese people as a whole, I look at them and I don’t trust them with pastries and anything kind of festive and sweet. They’re a serious people, strait black hair, cigarettes. I trust them for fish, steak, feed your cows beer, politeness, etiquette rules, tolerance for this rant right now, but if you start making sweets I’m leaving and I don’t care if you have a sword.
— Pete Holmes from the first episode of his “You Made It Weird” podcast with guest Kumail Nanjiani.